Summer is officially here.
Whereas many are swapping out their sweatpants for shorts and hitting the beach, others worry about the heat and drought. Summer, unfortunately, is wildfire season.
When a wildfire occurs and spreads, families living near these fires can potentially lose their homes and material possessions. A household, for instance, can lose everyday necessities, including clothing, food, computers they use to work from home and mobile phones.
The process involved in recovering after a house fire is long and painful. It entails months of slogging through the bureaucracy of government agencies and gradually reestablishing a sense of home and security. House fire survivors, therefore, can use all the help they can get.
If you know a friend who lost their house to a fire, you can take steps to give them the support they need to get through this ordeal.
Here are a few suggestions to help someone struggling from the aftermath of a house fire:
1. Just Listen
Sometimes, the best way to offer assistance is to listen to what the person has to say. Sit down and figure out what they need. You don’t have to offer a bright side and say things like, “Oh well, at least you’re in one piece and have decent homeowner’s insurance coverage.” Looking for a silver lining from this tragedy is your friend’s work, not yours.
If you’re going to open your mouth, use your words to validate, not minimize. Avoid saying statements like, “Hey, it was just stuff.” A house fire can make people lose their way of life.
If searching for the right words is a struggle, consider asking the following:
- “What are some things you need to do today?”
- “What’s on your mind?”
- “What feels overwhelming today?”
2. Bring or Share Meals
A house fire can make finding food difficult. If you can, drop off meals aligned with your friend’s food preferences. Get in touch with your friend to obtain this information.
Alternatively, you can invite friends to your house for meals, such as dinner every Sunday or breakfast every Saturday. Don’t let any feeling of guilt over your home being intact prevent you from opening your home to fire victims. Your friends may need the stability that a residential property can provide.
The meals you can serve on the dining table are up to you. Whether you prepare elaborate lunches or basic meals of salad or spaghetti, your friend will surely appreciate the warmth and kindness you provide.
3. Lend a Hand with the Debris Removal Process
Many people will choose to go back to the site of their former house and dig through the ashes to search for remnants of their belongings. If you live nearby, consider offering your support on the days when the debris removal crew will come to clear the lot.
If you do offer to go along, be aware that this can be an emotional and difficult process. The sight of a home burned down to the ground can look like a burial ground of lost life. When you’re giving a helping hand, be a respectful guest. Be slow and quiet to allow your friend to grieve and process the tragedy.
What’s more, allow your friend to stay as the leader at all times. Ask what you should pick through and what location you should work on next. More importantly, avoid going into treasure hunt mode, even if the circumstances are compelling. Remember that you’re here to help your friend, not hunt for valuables.
4. Offer to Host Kids for Game Nights or Play Dates
One of the most difficult aspects of having a house burned down is the seemingly endless stream of paperwork and phone calls. Sometimes, children who need affection during these trying times need care and attention.
If helping little ones feel seen is a talent you have, please don’t hesitate to host kids for board game nights, fun days or trips to grab a hamburger or a hotdog. Their parents could undoubtedly use a few hours of guilt-free and undisturbed productivity.
5. Open Up Your Home If You Can
Living out of a hotel room, even for just a few weeks, can feel unsettling and surreal. If your home has an extra room or enough space, offer up your house to give your friend a bit of homey comfort. You can offer your home for a few nights or come up with a temporary living arrangement. Getting a new place, after all, won’t happen overnight.
Losing a home due to a fire can be painful and overwhelming. If you know someone who’s in this position right now, don’t hesitate to give them the help they need.